Wednesday 20 December 2017

Going into The Last Jedi relatively spoiler free

I heartily look forward to seeing what all the crying has been about. As I sat down to write this post a news story crossed my feed about disgruntled fans starting a petition begging Disney to erase The Last Jedi from Star Wars canon.

No, seriously, stop laughing at the back.

Of course this is part of the usual flailing unhappiness of people who have somehow been Star Wars fans for decades without grasping some pretty simple concepts about the franchise like the idea that, yes, social justice definitely has a place in this world. Laura Dern has purple hair in the film and somehow this is a massive problem for some people. There are those satanic penguin things which, naturally, set off that desperate gibbering overreaction that fanboys get when something aimed at children does anything to appeal to them.

(“These aren't the Ewoks you're looking for...”)

Really all I'm going in to this film knowing this afternoon is that there are two new characters: one of whom is Doctor Ellie Sattler with purple hair and the other is Kelly Marie Tran who at one point wears a hat. There are Satanic penguins who exist mainly to ensure puffins don't interfere with the Star Wars canon (I am not joking about this). Lando apparently continues to not be present.

And the sort of entitled fuckboys I find utterly tiresome hate this film so much they've taken their tantrum to to try and strongarm a multi-billion dollar corporation into declaring a film they spent hundreds of millions on pointless.

Yeah, that'll happen. 

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