(Plot type
spoilers and a hell of a lot of unfounded and ill-informed
speculation await you below.)
It occurs to
me that I probably should have finally got around to reading Watchmen
before this came out. I fully intend to rectify the problem this
afternoon (its one of DC's eternal classics, Waterstone's has to have
copy) but for the moment let's all pretend that I intended to go into
this series unbiased by the perception of the original series' sacred
cow status instead of just being someone with the forward planning
skills of a custard doughnut.
Agreed?
Moving on.
Through
that prism (or lack of prism), I have a few thoughts. Firstly, was
the narration from Rorschach always complete pretentious drivel or
what? Now, if that was what Geoff Johns was going for with it he
succeeds admirably. “An intestine of truth and shit strangled us.”
is absolute gold if your intention was to write a dumb or mad
person's idea of deep social commentary. Speaking of which...
He's
not a subtle man, our Geoff Johns. The US President of Watchmen
Earth, President Redford is pretty much Donald Trump pretending to be
Ronald Reagan (art imitates life): he's got a wall to keep out
Mexicans and he's replaced the entire free press of the United States
with his own news channel so he can better explain to the people that
he absolutely has to start a nuclear war no matter what those
horrible foreign news organisation think is happening.
Okay
then.
As
to how much this issue tips its hand towards the connection between
the Watchmen continuity and the DC Universe... it doesn't. Most of
the issue takes place on the Watchmen Earth with only a short coda at
the end featuring Superman having a nightmare that's probably some
sort of premonition. The nightmare in question features Superman's
parents dying on the night of his high school prom just as he watches
Pete Ross kissing Lana Lang and being heartbroken.
I
hope this means something.
You
see, an odd thing over the last decade or so has been the increasing
desire to kill off the Kents. It generally started with Pa Kent who
was killed off in the comics during the New Krypton arc, in the
middle seasons of Smallville,
and then was declared to have died years ago at the beginning of the
New 52. Now Ma Kent (otherwise known as “WHY DID YOU SAY THAT
NAME!?”) seems to have joined him in the great hereafter a lot
earlier than I'd assumed.
So
the question that occurs to me is this: Is this something to do with
the diddling about with history that's been slowly uncovered since
the Rebirth one-shot?
Is Superman now having a super sad childhood with 100% more dead
parents some part of the master plan? I feel confident in assuming it
is because Geoff Johns is that sort of writer but also because its an
odd nightmare to be explicitly placing as a premonition of doom of
those events have nothing to do with the whole Watchmen thing.
As
to the actual Watchmen content... I absolutely need to read the
original because this seems to follow on pretty directly from what I
know of that series' conclusion. We're introduced to a pair of new
characters, the Marionette and the Mime who appear to be what counts
as super-villains in the Watchmen continuity, who are being recruited
by Rorschach who appears to not be Rorschach (though he has what I
assume to be a convincing line in imitation of the original's
pretentious bollocks) who has a watch that's a bit slow so he doesn't
know quite how long they've got until nuclear armageddon.
Its
all very atmospheric and darkly humoured, at least I hope I'm meant
to be taking it that way. One of the problems with the consensus DC
all-time classics is that a lot of them seem to be taken a lot more
seriously than they were meant to be. When I finally took a look at
some of Frank Miller's Batman stuff I was actually surprised by how
many jokes and little knowing nods were in there. You will never
convince me that Batman admiring how well Sarah Essen walks in heels
as she pretends to be a prostitute being assaulted is not meant to
make me smile. On the other hand, The Killing Joke
is exactly as po-faced as its reputation makes it out to be and
that's Alan Moore.
So,
yes, I definitely need to read Watchmen
before the second issue comes out. Absent that context the issue is
pretty good, visually interesting and well-written if I'm taking
certain things the right way. I am painfully aware, however, that we
still aren't anywhere near the punchline that I am dreading: the
moment when the Watchmen universe and the DC universe finally
collide.
I
look forward to this moment with dread barely tinged with the distant
glimmer of hope.
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