Marvel Brings in the Girls

Have I mentioned how genius Amanda Conner’s art is? Well, just look up above this sentence at the cover for Marvel’s upcoming Girl Comics. Let’s forget for a moment that this anthology series will contain new works by Ann Nocenti (one of the definitive Daredevil authors), Marjorie Liu, Devin Grayson, Jill Thompson and Colleen Coover amongst many others. Let’s forget all that and look at that artwork.

My favourite part of the picture is Storm’s expression. Now, Wolverine, he’s paying up like a gentleman and Ororo’s loving it. I’ll bet five seconds down the line she’ll be counting the bills out right in front of him to make sure she hasn’t been cheated. There’s an air of smugness to her, a very un-Storm-like bit of gloating.

In any other circumstance it might be out of character but not with Wolverine.

Like most extremely dignified people, Storm has a very select list of people with whom she’ll act undignified. I’m not sure of the full extent of this list but I’d be willing to bet it doesn’t extend much beyond Logan, Yukio and (maybe, possibly) her idiot husband (no, I don’t like that they married her off into obscurity, she’s an X-Man not a Doctor Who companion).

It isn’t surprising that Ororo has a very regal disposition, after all her current occupation is Queen of Wakanda and even that’s a step down from her original profession as a goddess incarnate. But her closest friends in the world are a Japanese criminal and a scruffy, drunken brawler. And I’ll say this now: those relationships are what stops her becoming a cliché. Like Cyclops, Storm has directed her entire life through duty: first to her people in that unnamed African village; then to mutantkind; and, finally, to the Wakandan people. Unlike Cyclops, she didn’t need to have an affair to realise she could let her hair down once in a while and still be a respected leader.

No, she had to get attacked by ninjas whilst wearing nought but a bathrobe, but that’s another story. Specifically the one that started her very slashy relationship with Yukio.

And I think that whatever Sue Richards is yelling involves cussing. Its always funny when Sue swears, she’s a mother figure to half the damn Marvel Universe an I just know that’s why Bucky is looking so uncomfortable.

New Readers Start At New Readers Start Here

We interrupt your regular programming for this special announcement…

I was once told that the definition of a hobby is an interest that you want to share with others. You may have noticed reading this blog that I quite like comics and if you haven’t OI, PAY ATTENTION!!!!!! Anyway…

A little while back, Saranga put out a call for comic reviewers for a new site aimed at recommending comics to those who have never read a comic before or who haven’t read a comic in some time. But let her explain it in her own words…

*****

Welcome everybody, to this new project with the lofty aim of recommending comics to people who have never read one before, or who haven't read one for a long time.

We will cover superheroes, manga, alternative and webcomics. We will not recommend anything where it is necessary to know decades of continuity. We will only recommend books that are available in a trade (collecting 6 to 8 of the monthly magazines) format so that you can get them from regular bookshops. We are keen on people using their local comic book shop but understand that they can be somewhat intimidating if you've never been in one before. To aid this, there will be a list of recommended local comic book shops made available.

We will aim to avoid comics with sexist, racist, homophobic or ableist overtones or intent. If there is some background to the comic, the writer or the art team that could contradict this policy, the issue will be mentioned and discussed within the review.

*****

And back to me…

By the time I post this up, the first two reviews will have gone up (Saranga examines Wonder Woman: The Hiketeia whilst I ponder upon Batman: The Cat and the Bat). The site will deal not only with comics recommendations for the new reader but also delve into issues such as how comics are read and created. Our intention is to create a practical primer for new readers as well as recommendations from as many sources and genres as we can find.

So, anyone interested in this or who might know someone who needs some recommendations, end them over to New Readers… Start Here and we’ll see what we can do for them.

We’ll also be concentrating the next week or so on recommendations for Christmas presents, if that’s of any use to anyone.

Well, he resisted the urge for almost two years...

Just finished reading JSA All-Stars #1 and it finally happened, the one thing I’ve been waiting for from Magog since the day he was introduced. He was introduced as a Marine Lance-Corporal and…

Okay, now the I remember his rank I would also like him to say is “Don’t panic! Don’t panic” or “They don’t like it up ‘em! They don’t like it up ‘em!” or any other Jonesy catchphrase, really. Then Power Girl can call Tommy a stupid boy.

Anyway, Dad’s Army references aside…

Oh yes, Magog. See, he was military, an NCO and there’s a grand tradition with fictional NCOs when they gain subordinates of a non-military stripe and after twenty-odd issues the force of inevitability finally fell on Matt Sturges and he gave Magog the line:

“And don’t call me “sir.” I wasn’t an officer in the marines-- I worked for a living.”

Its nice to see tradition upheld.

In Defence of Kate Kane's Weak Bat-Encounter

So, I’ve been considering the brevity of Kate’s first “fateful” meeting with Batman. Now, in case you haven’t read last week’s Detective Comics #859 a short, semi-spoilery précis follows:

Seven (ish…) years ago, Kate is leaving a club (the gay bar from 52? That sign seems familiar but I can’t be arsed to dig around for the issue) and she gets mugged. The mugger is quite shit, his shitness not helped by the fact Kate is a trained soldier. She fends him off efficiently and then the Bat turns up, she falls over, he helps her up, he leaves and she stares up into the sky at him and the Bat-signal emblazoned on the sky.

Batman is actually largely peripheral to the encounter. Kate saves herself, Batman may have arrived intending to save her but he wasn’t required. Their encounter is brief and, on first examination, quite meaningless. The encounter certainly isn’t life-changing.

And now why I think its awesome…

I don’t think Batman’s presence is the important element at all. I think the mugger is who changes Kate’s life.

Okay, back up a bit: context. This issue charts the slow disintegration of Kate’s life. At military academy she is accused of “homosexual conduct”, when given the chance to simply tell her instructor there has been a mistake and keep her commission Kate refuses to lie, holding her honour (“A cadet will not lie, cheat or steal, nor suffer others to do so.”) above her career. This leaves her without the direction in life she had always defined herself by (“… I wanted to serve… that was all I wanted… now that’s one…”).

In one large panel we are given a short summary of Kate’s new civilian life: her father’s re-marriage; partying; getting a tattoo; drinking; sitting bored in a lecture; and driving too fast. The only one of these that has any inherent meaning to Kate is her father’s re-marriage, to a woman who we have seen voice (however mildly) disapproval of Kate publicly expressing her sexuality. Given the pose Williams chooses for her at the lecture, she seems to hold her academic studies in no high regard.

Then she meets Renee Montoya. Renee pulls her over for speeding (a selfish and risky act) and so we enter the only part of this story where Kate is happy and entirely honest with the world. Her relationship with her roommate was secret by necessity and once revealed to the world it cost her all that gave her meaning in her life. Here she is obviously happy with Montoya and in other issues there’s much evidence that she regrets what she does next and may even regard Renee as the great love of her life.

She yells at Renee, drives her away because Renee isn’t out. She characterises Renee’s behaviour as “lying every day of your life”, unable to reconcile her love for the woman with the iron-hard moral stance that got her kicked out of West Point.

So ends the only good thing, the only relationship of value, Kate Kane has ever known in her civilian life.

And so, outside a club in the dead of night and the driving rain, trying to phone a woman who will not pick up (and who may not even talk to her for half a decade), Kate Kane meets a mugger and the Batman. I think Batman is an inspiration, it would be ludicrous to argue otherwise, but I think the attack itself is what wakes Kate up:

“Think I’m some victim, you don’t know I’m a soldier…” she tells the mugger as she hands him his arse on a platter. And then the Batman walks into her life just as she realises that losing her commission doesn’t stop her being a soldier, just that she needs a new direction for that aspect of herself. The Batman enters her world in that dark, wet alleyway…

… just as all those years ago, a solitary bat entered the world of Bruce Wayne: as inspiration, not her motivation.

But I don't want to be the Bogeyman anymore...

So, I was walking to work last week and a woman was having trouble getting her child to behave. Now, I can understand that this is something of a chore, on occasion. God knows, back in my babysitting days I had to be an inventive disciplinarian myself. I remember one incident where I gaffer-taped one of my younger cousin to a chair, but that isn’t strictly relevant right now.

The mother in question was trying to get her child to follow her to their car. The little girl was having none of it and ran away from the mother down the streets whereupon the mother points across the road at me and yells to her daughter:

“You come back here or that man will get you!”

Getting into the spirit of things, I flung my arms up and growled “RARR!” at the child. The child yelped and ran back to her mother, the mother gave me a wave and a wink, job well done.

Except…

The child remembers me, she lives on my street and now she’s terrified of the sight of me. I pass the lass and her mother in the street now and the girl hides behind her mother’s legs, peeking out at me with a look of utter terror on her face.

I feel so guilty, the kid looks like she’s about to burst into tears every time I pass by.

Of course, my little collusion with the girl’s mother pales in comparison to this, which is just awful.

Probation Hearings. Week Three

So, in my ongoing search for economy I’m putting my latest purchases on the headsman’s block, judging not by single issues one at a time but on the series as a whole. The individual issue has a chance to change my mind quickly so let’s see how these comics fair as parts of a whole:

Batman: Streets of Gotham

I dropped Dini’s Gotham City Sirens for reasons that are completely irrelevant to Streets. Despite its newness, Streets feels like a core Batman title, in fact I feel this is more a core title than Batman itself, which is a weird sensation. This probably stems from Dini writing it because the part of me that remains mentally twelve years old just indelibly associates the man’s writing with Batman. The recent guest arc with Chris Yost hasn’t dulled my enthusiasm, either, unlike Fabian Nicieza’s guest spot on Sirens.

In the name of fairness, I have to admit that the Manhunter second feature is the ongoing one of its kind I feel is substantially weaker than the full length comics that spawned it but its still Marc Andreyko writing Kate Spencer so I don’t have much to complain about.

Retained.

X-Men: Legacy

This one’s too early to tell, to be honest. The series has just undergone a major shift in direction and whilst there’s been no drop off in quality, I’m wary. However, I never found Professor Xavier terribly interesting before Carey made him the centre of Legacy whereas I’ve always had something of a soft spot for Rogue. Moreover, she’s finally got her happy ending so the series doesn’t have to worry about getting beaten with the angsty stick any time soon. Plus, it features the younger X-Men and I always like that bunch to have a good go at the bat.

Retained, optimistically.

Supergirl

I’ll just say it… Retained.

Never in a million years would my younger self have expected to enjoy Superman comics, let alone Supergirl. Especially this Supergirl who started out so poorly: badly written, inconsistent of backstory and severely malnourished. Yet Sterling Gates has done the impossible and made her series not just good but compulsive reading. It leaps to the top of the pile every time I buy it.

As much as this little project is geared towards economy, I’m pretty sure the money I’ve saved by chopping Buffy will be squandered on Gates’ upcoming Kid Flash series.

Mighty Avengers

Considering Mighty Avengers puts me one step closer to chopping New Avengers. I put that series on probation because of its lack of focus and only kept it because of the quality of the writing. Mighty Avengers, however, has the best of both worlds: Gage and Slott turn in great scripts featuring an old-fashioned Avengers team of super-heroes of varying statures, abilities and personalities who have a definite mission in life. Each character on the team has something to recommend them and if I were in a mood to expand my reading list (must… resist… I’m already on board for Kid Flash) then the treatment of Amadeus Cho and Hercules in this series would sorely tempt me towards their own ongoing.

Retained, even if for some reason I dropped the rest of the Avengers line.

Adventure Comics

I’ll be straight with you: this one all depends on what happens after Geoff Johns leaves. I know the Superboy feature is ending and I don’t know what’s following it. However, the fact I’m no big fan of Superboy-Prime has lead me to a new appreciation of the Legion Of Super-Heroes back-up. I skipped me the main story this month and found myself genuinely absorbed by the second feature.

Probation after Johns departs. Definitely retained if the Legion become the main feature.

Wolverine: Origins

Of the three Wolverine titles on the shelves this is the only one I buy. I remember the annoying old days when writers would throw a little snippet of Wolverine’s past to the reader as a bone to keep them interested, a snippet that was usually contradictory of other snippets or just turned out to be more lies layered upon lies. Daniel Way’s series keeps my interest by actually being about Wolverine’s true past and the conspiracy he’s been outlining the last few years really has me interested. Not to mention I love caper movies and the current 7 The Hard Way story seems to be shaping up as a caper with Wolverine gathering disparate individuals from across the Marvel Universe to take down Romulus.

Retained until the conspiracy story ends.

Doing My Happy Dance

So, Flash: Rebirth. Wally’s new costume? I don’t care. Return of Max Mercury? I don’t care. Resolution of the crisis involving Wally children? Nope. New Flash ongoing? Still not sure I’ll be following it.

And yet I am a happy man. You know why?

Because Impulse is now a legacy identity.

YES!

Bring on Sterling Gates.

Och Aye, Wiki

This amused me very, very much.

So, I was watching an old Zero Punctuation review where the “no true Scotsman” fallacy was brought up. I’d never heard the term before but I thought I understand it from context but I wanted to be sure. I Googled it and got the Wikipedia page first hit. I went there and the top of the article No True Scotsman had the following disambiguation:

“For the practice of wearing a kilt without undergarments, see True Scotsman.”

Someone’s having fun, I see.

My Little Regeneration Theory

[Semi-ish-spoilers for Waters Of Mars]

I’ve got this theory about regeneration in Doctor Who which ties in with something I’m hoping for the Eleventh Doctor (yes, too young, I know, but let’s make the best of a bad thing, he’s not too bad of an actor).

See, the way I view regeneration is as a sort of quick fix for the idea of survival of the fittest. The First Doctor is an aged academic whose scientific studies of the universe are constantly interrupted by marauding monsters. He basically dies of exhaustion whilst fighting said monsters. Enter the Second Doctor: younger and more willing to take on his enemies face to face, basically a body better designed to survive the life he finds himself leading.

It works with the others, too: the Fifth Doctor’s calm, quiet demeanor finds him constantly surrounded by the bodies of those he was trying to save, swept up in events and eventually dying on a world where he wasn’t even trying to interfere and the agendas of others were once again the driving force. He regenerates into the brash and pushing Sixth Doctor who would take control at a moment’s notice and, well…

… you could never ignore someone in that coat.

Contrast the Ninth and Tenth Doctors both physically and emotionally and tell me he didn’t on some level change into a man better equipped to love Rose Tyler.

So, after The Waters Of Mars it seems the Tenth Doctor is going insane. To be specific, I think he’s going insane with grief, he’s just lost too much.

He lost Rose and gave up his chance to be with her because he thought she deserved a mortal man who could love her for the rest of his life. He lost Martha twice, first when she left and then again when it became clear that as a soldier and as a person she no longer needed him. He not only lost but effectively killed the Donna Noble he knew and cared for. He lost Jack when Jack choose his duty to Torchwood over the Doctor. He saw River Song die (more or less) in the full knowledge that one day he’ll have to live through a very long and intimate relationship with her. And in the magazine comic strip the future isn’t looking too rosy for Magenta Pryce, either.

So maybe, just maybe, after he regenerates he’ll be better equipped to handle loss and we won’t have to have him whining every time he loses a companion.

It really is getting old.

Watched The Waters Of Mars last night...

… and I’ll say this once and get the fucker over with: the only thing keeping this episode from Girl-In-The-Fireplace-perfection was the fucking comedy robot which I could have stood when he was a one-shot escape route in the first half of the episode but when the little bastard went all deus ex machine the old nervous twitch started up again.

Oh, and it would have been great to see the Doctor’s state of mind towards the end of the episode (how’s that for avoiding spoilers?) explored in more detail but I was resigned to not seeing that happen because we’re jumping straight into Tennant’s final two-parter after this.

Okay, two things, then.

Oh, and I’ve got a theory about the upcoming regeneration, which we’ll get to later when outlining it won’t be so spoilery.

Probation Hearings. Week Two

So, for the second week running (who says I have no consistency? Well, anyone who’s ever read this blog when I came up with a theme, that’s who) I’m putting my purchases under the microscope to see if any economies can be made. Last week’s loser in love was Buffy The Vampire Slayer, so at least it wasn’t too new an experience for the old girl. This week’s recidivists in the dock…

Batman and Robin

This title is the very definition of a centrepiece series, I can’t really drop this without dropping the entire Batman line which would be a Very Bad Thing, especially right now. In formula its pretty much the same case as Astonishing X-Men: big name writer, big name artists, the whole nine yards but it differs from Astonishing by being one hundred percent relevant to the ongoing saga. Even if it wasn’t, Morrison is still going great guns on the series and I really want to see where it goes.

Not to mention it seems that Morrison is determined to actually expand the rogues’ gallery with any number of new villains, a move that is practically unprecedented I my lifetime.

Retained.

Action Comics

This series has only been getting better the last few months. After a rather shaky start to the Flamebird and Nightwing era, not helped by the lack of a consistent art team, things took a turn for the better in Codename: Patriot and The Hunt For Reactron only raised the bar higher. The mission is coming along, the characters are developing nicely and against all expectations I’m even starting to like Thara. Even the Captain Atom feature is developing well after my initial confusion about how it related to anything else.

But this will end. Thara and Chris are just renting and much as I’m enjoying Clark’s adventures over in World Of New Krypton I don’t think he’ll still interest me when the status quo is restored.

Retained, at least until World Against Superman ends.

Green Lantern Corps

In the middle of Blackest Night? Written by Pete Tomasi? After that ending? Are you kidding me?

Retained.

Batman

My first impression of Tony Daniel was wrong: he is a good writer. The bits of Battle For The Cowl I didn’t like stem from the old reliable of a lower tier writer having to tie into a top tier writer’s predetermined storyline. I even think that having him take over from Judd Winick might even be an improvement for the series and I’m one of the seven people with an internet connection who actually likes Winick’s writing.

Its also nice to see Batman fighting the mob again, some good old-fashioned street crime. It makes a nice contrast from the all-singing, all-dancing spectacle of Batman And Robin.

Retained.

Daredevil

I can’t remember the last time Daredevil wasn’t one of the best series on the stands. I jumped on with Brian Michael Bendis’ first issue and I’ve been reading the series ever since. Andy Diggle’s run is building on the work of his predecessors in interesting ways and its always the first thing I read the week it comes out. Since I’ve been reading it, Daredevil has been unpredictable and Diggle is keeping that tradition going.

Retained.

Red Robin

Chris Yost is a good writer, an excellent one, in fact. I’ve yet to see if he can make me like Psylocke but he’s treating Tim Dake right and that counts for a lot. As Red Robin, Tim Drake has matured, operating on his own without a safety net. In other words: just the way I like the lad. It also doesn’t hurt that Tim seems less insane and irrational now so I can really get on board not just with his new situation (which I always liked) but also his mission (about which I was initially sceptical).

Retained.

Batgirl

Okay, I’m loving this now. Utility garter aside, a more Steph-esque (i.e. purple) costume for Batgirl fixed the last lingering worries I had about her stepping into Cassandra’s shoes. The very Batman Beyond relationship between Steph and Barbara has real mileage in it and seeing someone wearing the bat who isn’t a paragon of competence is somewhat refreshing now that she isn’t quite so comically inept. Oh, and her burgeoning professional relationship with Detective Nick:

STEPH: Hey, you!
[Gordon gives Det. Nick a suspicious look]
NICK: What?
GORDON: “Hey, you”?
NICK: No one raises an eyebrow when you talk to Batman.
GORDON: I’m pretty sure Batman’s legal, detective.

Too, too precious. Bryan Miller’s humour is really growing on me.

Retained.

X-Force

You know why I love this incarnation of X-Force when I hated the original? This X-Force was formed to hunt out and kill the enemies of mutantkind and the series has more than lived up to that. The original X-Force was formed to hunt out and kill the enemies of mutantkind and the team then proceeded to do absolutely fuck all for the next hundred issues. Its also by Chris Yost and Craig Kyle, which is universally a good thing. Give them a few years and they’ll be in a position for a World Title Tag Team title shot against DC’s reigning champions Geoff Johns and Pete Tomasi. They consistently write engaging stories with unexpected twists and spot on character moments.

Retained just so long as Kyle and Yost are on writing. Sadly this won’t be much longer and we’ll see where we are then.

*****

So, no one sent to the gallows this week but future scrutiny hangs heavy over X-Force and Action Comics. Will next week’s series fair quite so well?

Mental Meanderings on the Batman/Doc Savage Special

Bronze Night
Writer: Brian Azarello
Art: Phil Noto

I can’t decide whether I’m being cynical about First Wave or not. You see, we’ve been here before. Several times, in fact. DC has some new properties in their arsenal so they’ve roped in Batman (or a Batman) to sell the idea to the traditionally innovation-phobic audience just as they did with All-Star Comics, the Milestone characters and the Spirit last time he was relaunched.

In a fair world having the Spirit and Doc Savage in their own art deco world would be pull enough but this is a manifestly unfair world as the lack of a Blue Beetle or Young Avengers ongoing on the shelves attests. Do we really need another Batman? This is the eighth re-interpretation of the character I can think of off the top of my head.

I’m being a little bit unfair here. Azarello actually does something rather clever with this latest Bruce Wayne. I read this one-shot through and was disappointed that Bruce seemed completely unchanged from the usual interpretation of the character and it wasn’t until about three hours later that I stopped in the middle of boiling my ravioli to realise I was utterly wrong. First Wave Bruce acts like I think Bruce should act: he’s cocky and arrogant and makes a prat of himself in public for strategic Bat-reasons. He also looks like Ben Browder for some reason but it works, especially the mildly stoned shit-eating grin Noto gives him.

Robin, we are so screwed, man!

And then there’s the guns. I don’t object to having a Batman who uses guns, what I find difficult is a Batman who uses guns and still doesn’t kill. He has a pistol in each hand, fires them in a situation and in a pose where he cannot possibly be aiming and, even if he was, without the superhuman ability to calculate the geometry of his ricochets or staying behind to render first aid until the ambulance arrives so his enemies don’t bleed out he can’t guarantee not killing anyone.

Its an untenable position, especially when I’m sure some of the other First Wave characters kill.

There’s also the fact this doesn’t really work as a “one-shot”. Take away the heavy foreshadowing of this Golden Tree malarkey and what we’re left with is a very pretty example of the age old “meet-misunderstand-fight--resolve-ally” formula. The resolution is abrupt and about half of it takes place off-panel which is almost never a good thing.

As to Doc Savage I think I get the character as a paragon of Captain America-esque human perfection and morality but his mad skills don’t really get to shine here. He seems okay in a fight and he pulls a trick when exonerating Batman that is rather clever though I’m not sure if its beyond whatever passes for modern science in the First Wave universe. He also apparently has a bunch of sidekick according to the design notes that cap off the issue but we only meet one of them.

Finally, on the subject of those design notes, its cool that the Spirit is part of First Wave because I really like the Spirit but I question the assertion that Ebony White would only work as a brash girl when not two years ago Darwyn Cooke wrote a version of Ebony White I bloody loved. He was all kinds of awesome with his attitude, his unlicensed cab and his habit of flirty with older women. He was cool and I don’t think he needs any more characterisation rehab than he got under Cooke.

In conclusion… I don’t know. I worry that like the All-Star Comics and the Milestone characters we won’t be seeing First Wave sticking around for long and of the two characters introduced so far one didn’t make much of an impression and one set my First Aider senses tingling. Not the best start.

The Mind-Fuckery of Battlestar Galactica

Now, the modern Battlestar Galactica is one of my favourite bits of television and one of the reasons for this is that it is genuinely psychologically interesting. Over time you really get into the characters’ heads and their motivations are, for the most part, supremely consistent. Unfortunately, as it has turned out a few times, sometimes the show gets into the viewer’s head, as well.

Example number one (and Nick will kill me for this, probably): my mate Nick. Nick has watched BSG exclusively through the medium of me lending him the DVDs and when I leant him the first season he watched the opening episode at two in the morning after an extra-long night at work whilst just a little bit drunk, as I remember the story.

The episode in question (33) shows the crew of Galactica and the fleet at large suffering from massive sleep deprivation as they are forced to battle the Cylons every thirty-three minutes (it’s a runny-and-catchy sort of thing, not genocidal time-management). After watching this episode and finally getting to bed at about three a.m., Nick spent the night waking up, I’m not kidding, about every half an hour with the irrational urge to leap out of bed and run to the Viper bays.

And what brought this very old story to mind? The fact that something similar happened to me last night.

A few times in my life I’ve had the feeling of genuine, creeping wrongness. Not quite fear or possibly just not yet fear, more the sensation that something very wrong and malevolent and out of place is here and ITS RIGHT BEHIND YOU!

Anyway, last night at about half past ten as I walked through the town centre I had that feeling, that primitive urge to run and hide, that something in the very environment was wrong, something that a barely-conscious part of me viewed as a threat.

It took me a moment to identify the source of the feeling: there was a busker a few metres behind me strumming out All Along The Watchtower.

Funny how the mind works.

Probation Hearings. Week One

So, yesterday was my birthday which is always a good excuse to take stock of life and see what needs changing. Also for cake but that need not concern us at this point. On a larger scale I need to write more: get the Curious Sorts back on track over at Eclectic Chair (more on that some other time) and dust off some other stories from the darker recesses of my hard drive. On the smaller scale there’s always the matter of personal finance and getting back to something I started doing weeks ago: cutting down my pull list.

Hence the first annual (disclaimer: how annual this will be shall wait to be seen, I’ll probably have forgotten all about this by next year) November Probation Hearings. In the dock: every ongoing I buy for the next month. Dusting off his curly white wig: my good self.

Secret Six

Let’s start on a positive note with the best team book on the stands: Gail Simone’s Secret Six. In short, it is the very definition of a keeper. Characters interesting, atmosphere excellent, tone unpredictable, dialogue sparkling and most of all it offers something unique. Even if I had to cut right down to just a few comics a month this would still be one of them. Uniqueness is something I value in comics and this series has it in spades.

And if John Ostrander wants to do more filler, that’s fine with me.

Verdict: Retained.

Captain America: Reborn/Captain America

Plain as day I am not looking forward to the absolutely inevitable conclusion of Reborn. However, I have enough faith in Ed Brubaker’s ability that he might actually make me like Steve Rogers. I came on board with this series just in time to see Steve shot stone dead which is just how I like him. If Bucky Barnes remains a big part of the title I’m staying, if Steve becomes the sole focus I’m probably gone.

Verdict: Probation pending return of the ongoing.

Ultimate Spider-Man

As pointless as I think the Ultimate Universe is becoming I can’t deny that Ultimate Spider-Man is as good as ever. Lafuente’s art is growing on me and I like the Amazing Friends sort of set-up that seems to be growing around Peter. Like Spider-Girl before it I think this series might deserve to outlive the universe that spawned it.

Verdict: Retained.

Astonishing X-Men

In spite of being written by a big name writer with art by big name artists there’s just something about this series that screams “non-essential”. Probably it’s the fact that this issue shows the X-Men based at Graymalkin Industries months after they raised Utopia Island from the sea. However, it does have a very good writer, the art is stellar on every issue and it does provide a nice break to have a series just a little to the left of the X-Men’s rollercoaster continuity.

Verdict: Retained, but the first to go if it needs to.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight

The Retreat arc really hasn’t been doing anything for me. I’ll admit to some curiosity on how this whole situation will resolve itself but this series just isn’t delivering the month to month suspense to keep me coming back anymore. There are plenty of great moment to enjoy (“You’re the least supportive girlfriend ever!” “I’m your skin!” “Oh, you always have to go there!”) but the overarching storyline is beginning to drag. More than likely this will read better as a complete body of work and so…

Verdict: Dropped, most likely switching to trades.

Amazing Spider-Man

As technically the most expensive series I buy at three issues a month, Amazing Spider-Man has to do a lot to justify itself to me. Luckily, it is such a fun series I have to say the thrice-monthly schedule doesn’t seem like an imposition to me. After years of seriousness the Brand New Day era has returned Spider-Man to being good, old-fashioned fun with tragedy thrown in to keep things interesting instead of the other way around.

Verdict: Retained.

Immortal Iron Fist (via Immortal Weapons)

Immortal Iron Fist is the very definition of a breakout hit. I admit I only bought the first issue because it was spinning off from events in Brubaker’s Daredevil (well, sort of) but I’ve been consistently gripped by it ever since. Swierzynski’s run has only improved on the foundations laid out by Fraction and Brubaker and the current run of Immortal Weapons stories have formed one of the better anthology series of recent years. It also helps that apart from this current incarnation I’m largely ignorant of the character’s history and so every revelation is new to me.

Again, uniqueness.

Verdict: Retained.

Angel

You know, things aren’t going well in Buffyville. There have been a lot of times this past year where I’ve picked this title up purely from habit. Following Brian Lynch’s well-written and intriguing After The Fall saga the series shifted to a different writer who set up a new status quo and a new cast for Angel Investigations which was reduced to a massive waste of time when Brian Lynch returned and spent five months not referring to any of it at all. The end result has been a confusing few months which have mainly looked back on After The Fall rather than building on the new status quo.

But then I saw the next issue image at the end of #27 and the magic words “Bill Willingham” were waved before me. True, this is by no means a guarantee of quality (I remember his run on Robin) but he’s got more in the win column than most writers with me.

Verdict: Probation pending Bill Willingham’s evidence.

They're to used to me, this lot

It could happen to anyone: you get your washing together in a hurry and you forget to check your pockets. We’ve all probably lost countless pens, pennies and bits of paper to this routine. Well, it just so happened on wash day that my watch strap snapped and I’d had to put it in my pocket.

So, two days later, I’m going out to the pub with Junius. Just before we step out the door I realise what I’ve forgotten.

‘Hang on, I just need to get my watch off the washing line.’

Not a flicker, not a question. They’re getting too used to me.

It still works perfectly, though.

Green Lantern Despairs

Lost for a post I have, as ever, picked a theme, trawled the internet and fed the results into the DIY Despair Demotivator Generator. This time round, the Green Lanterns of Sector 2814 are my unwitting victims:

More by luck than design, it's the Comics Ramble

Once again we delve deep into the mess of opinions and tangents that is my mind as I present my weekly thoughts on last week’s comics. They’re very slow opinions and tangents.

Two Young Men, Out On The Town
World’s Finest #1 of 4
Book One: Nightwing and Red Robin

Writer: Sterling Gates
Pencils: Julian Lopez
Inks: Bit
Colours: Hi-Fi

Yes, I know I said I was off the limited series for a while but this one’s by Sterling Gates and I feel that gives me a bit of leeway on my resolution. Gates is a real talent and having made me actually like the Supergirl character (you have no idea what a feat this was) I was wondering what he’d do with some of the other toys. After all, this is the man they’re trusting with dear Bart’s ongoing.

Anyway, the first issue follows Red Robin and Nightwing (the Kryptonian one) on a rescue mission. The story is quite straight-forward and linear but its carried by Gates’ use of character. It starts much as Red Robin’s guest spot in Adventure Comics a few weeks back: Tim’s doing something semi-suicidal and gets some help from his team-up partner. Tim’s character is consistent with his other appearances: selfishly pursuing his own agenda until world-shattering consequences wake him up. Nightwing is earnest, serious and in love and seeing him in Gotham’s murky underworld is a nice change from shiny, modern Metropolis.

Gates’ best work, however, is in menace du jour the Penguin who gets to be properly villainous for a change. For too long the character has been hamstrung by his semi-alliance with Batman but here he’s back to running a good, old-fashioned superhuman black market. It really is nice to see him being a proper villain again, serving the better quality of bad guys from the back rooms of the Iceberg Lounge.

This issue forms a good done-in-one with just a little epilogue that I hope is relevant to the rest of the series and not just a tease for further events in World Against Superman. On its own merits readers of Red Robin will get a nice little something extra whilst those coming in from Action Comics will see that series’ characters acting outside the usual strictures of their tightly-plotted meta-arc.

The Stench of Death About Them
X-Necrosha one shot

X-Men crossovers have been getting better the last few years. Messiah Complex, Original Sin and Messiah War all benefited from a commendable focus, so you can understand I have high hopes for Necrosha.

Nechrosha: Chapter One (Craig Kyle and Christopher Yost / Clayton Crain) certainly starts the one-shot on a high with various deadists infiltrating Utopia. The big problem is the nature of the dead rather lends this story a “something for the fans” feel. Take the Hellions, for instance, their deaths always an important part of Emma Frost’s psychology and I know they existed and I know they died but as individuals I’ve never had much exposure to them. It makes it all the more annoying that they don’t get individual little name tags like all the other returning characters in the book. I can’t really criticise on this count, however, because I am a massive X-Men fan. A few slight gaps aside I pretty much know the mythos inside out and any gap I do find I tend to appreciate as a challenge.

Clayton Crain’s art is as good as ever and I would like to point out his skin tones for particular praise, I love the mottled effect he uses for skin. Also, I think this might be the first time I’ve seen an umbilical cord portrayed in a comic. His art is really, really dark. I don’t mean emotionally but visually with deep shadows everywhere, lending the entire affair a certain claustrophobia that zombie stories really aren’t complete without. This story absolutely drips atmosphere.

Far less dark and atmospheric is Binary (Zeb Wells / Ibraim Roberson / John Rauch), a rather light prologue to events in New Mutants with the actual raising of Cypher from the dead and showing him infiltrating the Hellions onto Utopia. Having read New Mutants #6 this week as well, to be honest, Binary is quite skippable apart from a last panel reveal that adds a little explanation to some of Cypher’s later actions.

The Foretelling (Mike Carey / Laurence Campbell / Matt Milla) similarly prologues X-Men: Legacy with undead Destiny popping in for a chat with the X-Men’s current resident nutter precog Blindfold. I’m looking forward to the Legacy arc of Necrosha, especially as I’m wondering how Rogue will react to Destiny’s return (could we hope she will finally use the word “mother” in reference to the woman?).

A Small Tony Daniels and Coke, Please Barman
Batman #692
Life After Death part 1:
The Awakening

Writer and Pencils: Tony S. Daniel
Inks: Sandu Florea
Colours: Ian Hannin

Proof if proof were needed that Batman is not Daredevil. This issue marks the return of Tony Daniel to the writer’s chair after Judd Winick’s brief run. Last issue Dick found a USB stick containing information on his parents’ murder and in this issue that information is not mentioned at all. In fact, this issue continues pretty much seamlessly from Daniel’s Battle For The Cowl limited series. Suspicious that…

Anyway, oddities of continuity aside, it has to be said that this issue is far superior to Battle. There Daniel was hamstrung by another author’s pre-determined, obvious conclusion and a mystery whose too obvious resolution was entirely unsatisfying. Here he gets to play with all the toys, chart his own course and the package is far more satisfying all round. He even brings in the legacy of the Falcone family and its sole remaining heir, adding a new dimension to Batman Reborn’s underworld shake-up.

What has not changed since Battle is the high quality of Daniel’s art, most notably a scene with Batman fighting a gang of mobsters out in the countryside. The scene is atmospheric, well-written and best of all Daniel shows off some acrobatics in Batman’s movements that would look unnatural with Bruce but fit perfectly with Dick’s style.

Daniel’s definition of Dick is interesting in the relationships he assigns the man. In a scene with Gordon he shows Dick to make a slip in the façade and Gordon corrects him: “Batman doesn’t need my permission.”. In the next scene we have Dick trying to forge a deal with Catwoman which he cocks up royally. He tries to manipulate her and fails, he tries to dominate her and fails and she effortlessly seizes all initiative from him.

Oh, and I love that Falcone and his goons still dress like it’s the nineteen-thirties.

The only problem with the issue is that I’m not sure how it all ties together: the opening with Gordon; the Black Mask’s little plan (and Nosferatu costume); the Falcones’ return and attendant Long Halloween flashback… these elements feel a little disjointed but I’m willing to be optimistic because Daniel seems to be weaving a competent little mystery.

It’s the End, But…
Dark Reign: Young Avengers
Young Masters part five

Writer: Paul Cornell
Pencils: Mark Brooks
Inks: Walden Wong
Colours: Emily Warren and Sotocolor’s L. Molinar

“Nobody will ever hear of it. It doesn’t count.” - Norman Osborn.

For years now with the Young Avengers its been a case that something is better than nothing. By and large the YA limited series have been quite satisfying, the Secret Invasion tie-in was a little weak but beyond that Civil War and Young Avengers Presents were strong little affairs. Dark Reign: Young Avengers is definitely in the latter camp, in fact I’d rate it as the best Dark Reign tie-in I’ve read.

Its greatest achievement has been creating new characters Id love to see again. Now Big Zero, Egghead and Executioner I could happily take or leave but the Enchantress, Melter and Coat Of Arms really interest me. I can see a bright future hero’s journey for Melter, the revelation of the Enchantress’ true nature has possibilities and Coat is just cool. Sadly, it was never on the cards that they’d stick around. Each Young Avengers series has had to include a nice big reset button to make way for the (eventual) Season Two series from Heinberg. Its just never been as pronounced as this before, though.

The meat of the issue is a fight between the Young Avengers and Dark Avengers with the Young Masters choosing sides as they go. As a conclusion it has much to recommend it: there’s plenty of action, character moments galore and Mark Brooks has rarely turned in a better issue. In the past I’ve been quite critical of Brooks’ facial work but this series has shown definite improvement for him in that area as his anatomy in general becomes less blocky and angular. There’s even a very cute, off-beat epilogue that had me reaching for YouTube to understand it.

Unfortunately, the big red reset button rears its ugly head and what could have been the start of something cool will probably be the last we see of three relatively interesting characters and three other very interesting characters.

Limited Edition Rant

So I just received a DVD box set from Australia because (and not to sound ungrateful) the BBC are gits. Pretty much since the BBC started issuing its programmes on DVD they’ve been working their way through the Doctor Who canon with the stated intention of getting the lot out someday for the fans to have the lot.

So naturally they chose to release the whole of Season Sixteen, six whole stories, as a limited edition box set. Five thousand copies and that’s your lot.

I don’t hate limited editions as such, its just that when they’re the only edition released that it rather gets to me. The BBC did this to me in the VHS days, as well, it took me ages to find a copy of Trial Of A Time Lord.

They released the Key To Time box during my unfortunate period of unemployment so dropping sixty quid on it was out of the question. So, gainfully employed once more I went looking for a second hand copy and found that they’d jumped in price to about a hundred and twenty quid a throw.

Screw that, thought I.

However, a month or so back I got paid that one glorious wage slip of the year I don’t have to pay rent out of and took another look at the Amazon Used And New and, lo and behold, there was a copy for about £65. As I say, it had to be mailed from Australia but it was the right region (weirdly). Took ages to get here but worth the wait.

But of course, the law of sod comes in to play and it’s being re-issued, just to make me roll my eyes.

Public Service Announcement from a Patriotic Deadist

With thanks to SallyP, from whose Green Lantern Butts’ Forever I harvested the pic.

OH GOD NO!

TNA have signed Hulk Hogan. Shit…

I like watching professional wrestling. Yes, I know its fake but if I want proper wrestling I’ll watch UFC (and I do sometimes, its quite cool) but I can certainly appreciate the performance. Its also good communal television, you can tune in and out of it at will (unless Shawn Michaels is wrestling, then rapt attention is mandatory).

Now, recently good old WWE has become… how to put this?

Crap.

They’ve gone PG, you see, with everything: their shows, pay-per-views, EC(fucking)W, even a whole PPV of Hell In A Cell matches. PG Hell In A Cell? That’s just not in the laws of physics! Leaving aside how men beating on each other can be made PG, never mind that its fake, if a film was nothing but pure violence with brief interludes of shouting and the occasional bit of girl-on-girl posing (or the WWE Women’s Division, as it is sometimes called) I would imagine it’d be at least a 15. Never mind all that, though, because the competition is much better these days.

Total Non-Stop Action Wrestling is great fun. Its got everything: some decent theatre, great big name talent (hardcore legend Mick Foley, Kevin Nash), plenty of exceptional original talent (AJ Styles and Amazing Red are almost balletic), a women’s division that involves actual wrestling not just posing and near-nudity (excepting the Beautiful People from this last claim, they are quite scantily dressed but they’re the exception and actually decent wrestlers).

If this woman asks you to do the washing up. Do. Not. Refuse.

Take Hamada, for example: half-Japanese, half-Mexican, trained to wrestle in both those countries and, as a consequence, completely insane. You just know if she pulls a weapon from under the ring it’ll get used on her and she never seems happy with a match unless she’s flung herself onto someone from a great height, preferably backwards. She can do the lot: power moves, hard striking, high flying in the luchador style and I like her coat, too.

Hulk Hogan, by contrast, is crap. He’s good on the mic but in the ring he’s awful. He has sod all moves and he’s fifty-six. He could barely wrestle in his thirties! The last Hogan match I saw was about five minutes of bulldozering poor Muhammad Hassan (as if he didn’t have enough troubles in his life) and then twenty minutes of posing. He really is rubbish and I think getting in the ring with AJ Styles might actually kill him.

Oh, well, it could be worse, I suppose…

Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!

Must Have Been One Hell of a Party

So, yesterday, when I wasn’t laughing at unfortunate fascists, I was happily beavering away in the kitchen at work when, suddenly, a member of the Great British public behind me swears loudly and pulls out his phone in manic haste. He dials, a look of fear on his face, all the time staring out the street-facing window and tells the person on the other end of the phone this:

“Daryl, quick, it looks like its about to rain, get my bed back in from the garden!” After but a second: “What do you mean its already raining?”

Poor chap.

Ladies and Gentlemen, its Gloating Time

Have you seen the papers today? Brilliant, weren’t they? The whole British press united for one night only for the express purpose of reviling a truly odious man. Yes, Nick Griffin’s appearance on Question Time in which he giggled at the mention of the Holocaust and claimed the Ku Klux Klan (the fucking Klan!) was a non-violent organisation has caused a bit of an uproar.

I thought the most lyrical headline of the morning was the Telegraph’s…

GRIFFIN SLAIN ON QUESTION TIME

Whereas I imagine whoever came up with the line…

BIGOT AT BAY

… for the front page of the Daily Mail did so whilst grinding their teeth together. We are, after all, talking about the paper that published an opinion piece alleging that no gay man in his early thirties could possibly die of anything other than drugs or venereal diseases. Rather gratifyingly the ensuing complaints crashed the server of the Press Complaints Association. Of course, there’s something pleasingly direct about the Daily Star’s…

BNP CHIEF GRIFFIN IS A NUTTER

And as for BBC Television News… I’ve never seen that lot gloating before. It was a little surreal, to be honest.

It just goes to show what I’ve always said: let these people talk. Let them expose their arguments for the uninformed, ignorant hatred that they are. Confront them with what they’ve said in the past, it certainly helps if there are photographs of them standing next to leading figures from that well-known pacifist association the Klan. Inevitably they cannot sustain their own positions in the face of actual facts.

Let them talk and let us destroy them.

Things I have learnt during my enforced absence

1. Even when my Blogger account has a tantrum and randomly locks me out of my blog, I can still comment.

2. Blogger has some quite efficient and cool tech-support.

3. Final demands are nothing of the sort as we’ve been receiving ones for the previous tenants of the house for over a year now from the DVLA, the TV Licensing Authority, HSBC, Lloyds, Barclay’s and council tax demands. Total bailiff visits so far: one, yesterday, easily turned away by pointing out the car he was trying to repossess was no longer here. If nothing else its an object lesson in how reckless lending lead to this recession.

4. Even if you’re sure the damp feeling in your shoe is water getting in through a hole, you should take your shoe off and check. You never know, like me you may have somehow accidentally chopped off a large chunk of one toe.

5. Its amazing how much bleeding you can do over so much lost flesh and not really feel it until you see the damage.

6. Further to the two above points. Scabs: still as fun at twenty-five as they were at seven.

7. My worst fears about the conclusion of Captain America: Reborn confirmed by January solicits. Damn you, Marvel!

8. Greg Land, actually capable of turning in some good art. Not a whole issue’s worth, of course, I’m pretty sure that Scalphunter’s secret identity is as the wrestler Triple H.

9. Raisons have no place in a vegetable stew. (Actually, Matt learnt this but it seemed as relevant as anything else).

10. Buying two weeks’ worth of comics at once causes severe pain in the wallet, so I feel I may return to the culling project.

11. National Novel Writing Month starts in a few days, this year I intend to enter (even though I’m in the wrong nation). On that subject, I miss writing for the Curious Sorts over at the Eclectic Chair, I think I might try to work up a Hallowe’en edition of Three Men Walk Into a Bar.

It’s good to be back, have somewhere to jot down these random irrelevant thoughts. Now, three themes for Hallowe’en… what can I do?

Scanner Fixed, Smut Ensues

I’m going to get killed for this one…

So, on Monday I was once again distracted from actually reviewing Uncanny X-Men by the art of one Greg Land the maniac porn tracer of Old London Town (no, not really, he’s American, I just like the phrase). As I said, I was trying to concentrate on the story and the new status quo; the emerging leadership of Cyclops; the well-thought out exploration of creating a new nation but… well, look what I had to work with…

Now there’s a woman happy in her work. Now, I’m more than aware that the man’s reputation makes me judge him quicker and more harshly that I would pretty much any other artist under the sun. I mean, yes, she seems awfully happy for a stressed and exasperated woman but that could just be an all-advised hint of a smile, nothing malicious or smutty at source. I could just be reading things in to that image that simply aren’t there.

Therefore, it would be cheap to take a shot here, cheap and tawdry. No decent human being would consider milking what could simply be an ill-advised hint of smile on what is essentially a perfectly good pose of exasperation.

Ho hum…

I never claimed to be a decent human being.

Explaining My Own Mitigating Circumstances

So, I work with a Nepalese woman, the daughter of a Gurkha. Lovely woman, we get along quite well. English isn’t her first language but I’d argue that for sheer grammar hers is better than mine. Of course, every now and again we’ll be talking and I’ll throw in a word or an idiom that she simply hasn’t heard before and the next twenty minutes of the shift is the explanation.

I tell you, I never thought about how many meanings the word “turf” has until she questioned the request “Could you turf the whole chickens out of the fridge, see how many we’ve got left?”. There’s old-fashioned sod… hang on, this is too good a chance to miss…

An old-fashioned sod, yesterday.

… there’s gangland territory and the other territorial meanings, turf wars, and, of course, the sense of turf in which someone or something is forcibly removed like a drunk or the aforementioned whole chickens.

Yesterday I had to explain “mitigating” and chose to explain using the phrase “mitigating circumstances” and a legal metaphor. Note to self: never again begin an explanation with the phrase “If, for instance, I were to suddenly strangle you to death…”

It did not go down well, but I got my point over in the end and she got that I wasn’t actually threatening her which is good because I don’t want her setting her dad on me.